Projection Affair

NightDream

Dean is having an affair with another teacher, Laura S. He wants to leave me for her. So, I go to her house and let her husband and children in on their plan. LS shows up with a different face but I call her out and she changes back into her real self. She seems mortified that I'm outting her to her family.

Feelings
not wanted, rejected, helpless

IRL
I'm caught up in an intuitive reading for a client who wants her lover to leave his own family.

Tarot Association
Three of Air ~ Heartbreak
Epiphanies Tarot by mystic-mentor.com

2/19/2016 + 4/7 = 5

I Can Go My Own Way

Night Dream

...flash... Covo with Dean.
Dean promising, suggesting, and planning various activities, like dinners, like LasVegas, like traveling to Portland... and then, making up dumb excuses when he can't.

...flash... Sitting on one of my brown leather dining room chairs and flying through the air at night over the city. I have a friend following me, a black man that I don't know irl.

I see/hear my dad cautioning me to be careful about traveling like that.

Feelings
Re: Chair Flying - I feel slightly frightened, yet in awe since it's so amazing! - like flying in an airplane.
Re: Dean reneging - I feel more empowered than sad.

IRL
It's a four-day weekend and Dean suggested a road trip, but as usual, he's playing Elder Scrolls constantly, losing track of all time, not even realizing I'm in the same room.

My dad always worries when I travel on my own.

Meaning
If I want to travel, go out, enjoy anything other than home life -- I'll need to do it on my own.
Caveat - it can and will be amazing!
+ Dean can take care of the dogs, especially Sissy.
+ I love doing my own thing!

Actions
Plan my Portland trip.

Tarot Association
The Six of Air
Epiphanies Tarot
by Mystic-Mentor.com



#78songs #6Air
Go Your Own Way ~ Fleetwood Mac
https://youtu.be/6ul-cZyuYq4

2/13/2016 + 4/7 = 26 = day 8

Be Mindful in Intuition

Night Dream

In a home unknown to me, it seemed part home and part campus, I, along with my family and a lot of other people, was celebrating my grandmother's birthday party. My grandma Aileen is blowing out her candles on a huge rectangular sheet cake. She is laughing.

Next scene, I'm following behind Grandma Aileen. She's driving a really old silver Cadillac. I'm experiencing feelings of distracted driving, or wrong turns...

Back at the home/school, I realize I've lost my pink cell phone. (irl my current phone is a silver S6) I'm looking for it everywhere, along with my brother Tim and high school people like Julie Wadel. Checking lost and founds and different classes and security... not finding it.

I figure it's not worth worrying too much over because I know my mom and dad have my other, 2nd phone.

___________

Signs & Symbols
lost phone = rely upon it for so much and even take it for granted [Spirit]
distraction = losing phone, driving distracted [not being mindful]
searching = looking everywhere, yet not checking in with Spirit
home/school = life is my ongoing lesson [05 Teacher]
grandma Aileen = her marriage mirrors my own

Feelings - in the dream I felt concerned, a little worried, but wanting to let it go since I have another phone. [= I always have Spirit]

irl - (in real life) - hmm... I'm worried about four, recent intuitive readings about my marriage that all include 5 of Air and 5 of Fire (+ 10.Air, 3.Air & Tower). I don't like the 5-Pips! One was even my own reading (Wheel + 5.Fire + 5.Air) the other three readings were from Linda, Jon, and Carly at MeetUp practices.

Epiphany = pay better attention and be more mindful. When these negative readings happened, with all of them, I wasn't being mindful. I was being casual and asking only a half assed question. With Jon, going against my better intuition, I agreed to his reading for me with no question.

I'm seeing how important clear and precise questioning is.

Action - I'm drawing three cards about why the 5's, as I'm feeling like everything is fine in our marriage, sex is good at the moment, I have a healthy understanding and almost appreciation of different paths (video games vs spirit speak). I don't see him showing signs of having an affair. We seem to both be equally excited about the future. So, what's up with that???

...drawing from the Gaian Tarot...
5`Teacher (#SpiritSign = shows up on my phone)
"use questioning, teasing, and storytelling to inspire and intrigue lazy students." 
"Intending to learn one thing and end up learning something else."

3`Water - Seek joy and tell others about our happiness = joy grows.
12`Tree - Stillness and receptivity are called for.
4`Water - Be grateful to Spirit by noticing messages and taking actions.

Epiphany - Maybe the fives kept coming up to get my attention. They did not resonate, so it forced me to look deeper into what's really going on here. And, the message is to take divination and practice more seriously.

Be Mindful! 
Pay attention when I'm in a reading. 
It's a sacred gift. Honor it.

Action + Next Step
~> Intuitive reading... share it with Dean... set intentions...
On Sunday, 1/24/16, the 25th anniversary of the day we first met.

Thursday, 1/21/2016 + 4/7 = day 6

Tarot
The Teacher
Epiphanies Tarot
by mystic-mentor.com

Now, Dean is Andy

Night Dream
My dad and I are talking to my grandma Aileen in her kitchen. She tells us that her husband, Andy, is dead. We go into his bedroom to check on him and he is laying in his bed like he's sleeping, but he is dead. We cover him up over his face with his sheets.

My dad tells me, "You know what this means? Now, Dean is Andy."
I think, wow, he's so right! and I feel like I totally understand what he means.

Feelings:
I get it.

Reality check:
Past - childhood memory of backyard neighbor on Alder St. being carried out of his house on a stretcher, dead, covered in a white sheet.

IRL - In real life, I've been feeling like my relationship with Dean is a lot like my grandma's and Andy's was. Sometimes, maybe a lot of times, Dean reminds me of Andy.

IRL - I described Dean as the King of Swords when I was introducing him to Linda Broussard a couple of weeks ago.

Actions:
Accept and appreciate Dean for who he is and strive to make our marriage the best it can be.

Tarot:
Dean and Andy are both the King of Air

Life by the Numbers:
1/06/2016 + 4/7 = 9 day